Wear Mastery Strategies: Traveling Light

One of my clients paid 500 Euros last summer in additional luggage charges traveling around Europe. Later she added it up and realized she could have bought a whole new wardrobe with that money. Another client visited the islands and couldn't decide on what to take so she put everything in two suitcases and including inter-island travel wasted $100 on clothes, which really should have been sorted out long time ago.

This is my advice: Choose highly combinable layers of beautiful and comfortable fitting favorites of 3 bottoms, 5 tops, 3 sweaters/jackets and you have 3x5x5=45 possibilities, which should be plenty for a week or two. Wear the thickest and warmest combination with the bulkiest shoes on the planes, where it is cold anyhow and you may get away with carry-on.

From Bottom to top: Comfort and Beauty in One Pair of Shoes

Our feet like no other part of our body challenge us to balance comfort and beauty. Shoes, which are comfortable and pretty and match the outfit are every woman's dream. Deep longing breath. I imagine the glass slipper, which exactly fits my foot, is molded around it. But wait, I wouldn't want to trip. And neither do generations of emancipated women.  The glass slipper is perfectly fitted and chic but not practical.  Unless you want to be found by the prince. The symbolism of the glass slipper touches the depth of the soul, yearning two unite the different parts of our psyche, the feminine and the masculine into One.  Searching for one pair of magical shoes resembles the heroine's journey, a continuous whole-life-spanning quest, which definitely needs the help of a fairy godmother.  May the shoemakers of the world be blessed.

Wear Mastery Strategies: Preparing for a Photo Portrait

Everyone needs a great current digital photo of themselves for private, professional or social purposes. Here are some basic tips for what to wear when getting your photos taken.

•Avoid white because white attracts the viewer's eye and will distract from your face.

•Avoid black because it will make your face seem to dangle in the air. 

This does not necessary apply for wearing black and white in your life. You might wear those colors really well.

•Avoid large patterns, numbers, words which would distract from your face.

•Choose at least five different tops and do a test photograph, even with your cell phone if nothing else is available. You will get an impression in which photos you look most present, approachable and clear.

•Choose a color, which is not overpowering you and which is not too pale either, so you overpower the color.

•Pay attention to the neckline of the top you are wearing. Make sure your head doesn't look choked or too small. Scarves and ties can balance a blouse or shirt, which is buttoned up.

And of course, practice smiling!

Relationships and Clothes: First Impression

The way we dress shows how we choose to express ourselves privately and publicly. We display our taste, political, cultural, social and even religious preferences through our clothing. It is impossible not to communicate through our clothes or lack thereof. Kundalini Yoga Master Yogi Bhajan says, "we can fully read and see another person within the first three seconds of meeting them by looking into their eyes. This is the window into another's soul." 

Additionally, we can learn a lot about someone by reading their hair, their walk, voice and their clothing. That is a lot of subliminal and obvious information already. Some people top it off and wear T-Shirts, which broadcast additional messages like 'Best Daddy in the World' or  'I believe in miracles.' 

I have been judging people in my life based on first impressions of how they acted or looked like in one moment and I am glad life gave me a chance to meet them again. Clothing can really distract from the beauty, which is inside all of us. That is why I created Wear Mastery, which leads to clothes that match our inner beauty and message to the world.

Relationships and Clothes: Taking Care of the Other

What does it mean when she takes care of his laundry and he takes care of her car? This can be a co-dependent or a mutually satisfying inter-dependent arrangement. He could take care of his laundry and she could take care of her car. I am basing my thoughts on two people who are not at the same level of caring for their appearance and clothing and who are not exchanging wardrobe advice equally.  When it comes to wardrobe, not everybody has the innate talent or learned ability to dress in an advantageous or desired way. Often women take care of their man's wardrobe and men help their girlfriends and wives. When does this become 'mothering' and 'fathering' and does this take away from a healthy partnership? If the mothering feels nurturing instead of controlling and the fathering empowering instead of suppressing, the roles can contribute to healing and growth. Time will tell how long the mother and father roles are played and enjoyed.  

Relationships and Clothes: His and Hers

Most couples I have met over the years share closet space in one way or another. He has one part of the walk-in or built-in closet, she has the other part.  So far, I haven't met anyone who was excited or enthusiastic about the other person's clothes. Usually, conversations or showings with women were accompanied by a sigh, facial expression of resignation and by judgments. Conclusion: sharing a closet is not very desirable.  Also, if the couple has completely different closets, women often feel burdened by the amount and kind of clothing their partners store in their closets.  Men don't seem to have that much discomfort with their woman's clothing. I would like to know more about what men are thinking in regards to that…Space has to be negotiated in any relationship and appearance and energy (of the clothes) as well to avoid a build-up of resentments. 

Wear Mastery Strategies: Refining to Favorites

I like comparing food and clothing consumption. Here is one example. Cookies and baked goods in general were something I really enjoyed and often ate too much of. Until just a couple of years ago I started to notice how certain cookies wouldn't be as fulfilling as others. I cannot explain why it happened all of a sudden but it led me to not wanting to eat the less fulfilling ones anymore. So cookies are narrowed down to my current favorite: Walker's Short Bread Cookies. And since I don't want to spoil the fun, I refrain from eating them too often.

The same thing happened with other food categories and it also became my strategy for choosing clothes: only going for favorites. When under stress I become less discriminative and lean towards consuming less favorite foods. Trying or buying clothes under stress is not a great experience and inevitably often leads to wrong purchases. 

I am very, very grateful to be in this privileged position of making more and more refined choices.

Wear Mastery Strategies: Understanding Attachments to Clothing

I am at my friend's house, which is situated in a remote rural part of the Big Island, Hawai'i. Her walk-in closet is full of beautiful clothes, high quality, carefully and lovingly selected and collected over the years from different parts of the world. She feels connected through the fabrics to tribal cultures and artisan communities and she feels too crowded by all the clothes she doesn't wear.

She rarely wears the clothes because she came from a cosmopolitan place to the country, practically to a farming existence. Even if we don't wear our clothes, time will wear them, and we need to maintain and preserve them, investing time, money, space and energy to do so.

What should she do with her treasures? Just let them go? Transform part of her closet into an exhibit, which would showcase the clothes and tell their stories? Or keep and maintain them to enjoy the energy of the fine materials and possibilities in her field?

From Bottom to top: Cute and Funny Socks

I have been given socks as presents, which the person who gave them to me thought were cute or funny or cozy: like those glove socks, where each toe has its own home, striped socks, or fluffy polyester ones in bright colors for cold evenings. And when those socks are worn by others, I noticed people making remarks about how cute or funny they are, which sort of reinforces the decision to wear these kind of socks.

When I see those socks on adults, I react and cringe, because my desire for esthetics is momentarily not met. Obviously, there is no right or wrong. I am just wondering and trying to understand. Where is the line between clothing and costumes? If someone wears a piece of clothing, which tends to become a conversation piece is the intention to receive additional attention or wanting to communicate something specific, like 'I have humor' or I like 'bright colors'? What about the criteria of age-appropriateness and occasion-appropriateness?

And this time it has nothing to do with the difference in German or American humor, which I stumble over sometimes, because even Germans wear cute and funny socks.

 

From Bottom to Top: White Athletic Socks

On one of TLC's Show What not to Wear, the hostess Stacy London clarified when to wear white athletic socks and when not. The word athletic is crucial: We wear athletic socks, when we do athletics and exercise. 

The man chosen for the wardrobe makeover was wearing white athletic socks with everything, even to work, so that they would brightly show themselves between dress pants and shoes. Stacy pointed out that only if you are a professional basketball player, football player, coach etc. is it justified to wear athletic socks for work.

Who hasn't purchased a package of white athletic socks? They are made out of cotton, are cheap, they all fit with one another and one needs them for exercise. White athletic socks actually rarely look good as a part of an outfit because they distract from it, especially if bright white and high contrasts are not on your color and design palette. Socks in neutral colors, which go with your shoes (unless you wear bright white sneakers all the time) and pant colors will improve and even elongate your appearance.

Interaction with Clothing Sales People: Almost unnoticeable hesitation

On my clothing manifesting wish list is a bathrobe. I have one, made out of this fluffy polyester material and would like to trade it for one in a natural material. So recently I went into a store and saw a bathrobe made out of silk in one of my favorite colors. I came only in two sizes. I tried on small. When the owner approached me, I asked her before I looked into the mirror: "What do you think, does it look too big?" There it was: She hesitated ever so slightly and then said: "it looks great." The bathrobe felt too big and actually looked too big. My inner response was: "She lied to me. She just wants to sell her product." That is quite an accusation and an assumption. Then I thought about it more and "it looks great," can be simply interpreted as a vague answer. After all she didn't say: "it looks great on you."

You may have experienced this slight hesitation in people's verbal reaction and facial expression when asking them for advice. It happens when there are conflicting motives like wanting to sell something and to give an honest opinion or wanting to help but not wanting to hurt someone's feelings. 

I will try to catch this moment of hesitation next time it presents itself to me. Then I could say: "It seemed as if you were hesitating for a moment. I really appreciate your feedback whatever it may be."

Wear Mastery Strategies: Slow Shopping

Inspired by Mark David's talk at the Natural Food Expo 2009  (www.psychologyofeating.com), I started to think about when it is actually necessary to consciously slow down. His thesis is that mostly digestive and weight problems, cravings and food addictions are caused by stress.  He suggested that one minute of deeper breathing before eating, helps the body to switch from a Fight or Flight Response state to relaxation, which then enables the body to truly absorb and digest the food. Eating slower, savoring, taking pleasure in the process surely benefits the health of our body and minds.

How many of our clothes have been bought on an impulse and in a fast or hurried manner? Perhaps the price was right (the average American's first criteria for purchasing clothing) and then a couple of other criteria seemed to be fulfilled, like acceptable color and roughly the right size. 

Millions of shoppers don't even take the time anymore to try clothes on and often don't take the time to return the item if it doesn't fit.

Slow shopping means that we allow ourselves to feel the piece of clothing from the outside and inside, to touch it, to try it on, to really look at it, check the quality and the material, to walk in it through the store, to look at ourselves, to envision a couple of occasions we could wear it, to check if we can combine it with other wardrobe pieces, to breathe in it deeply for one minute before making the decision. Slow shopping inevitably leads to less in quantity but more refined in quality consumption. 

Relationships and Clothes: Perfect Match

There is a connection between finding the 'perfect' friend and partner and finding a piece of clothing, which is 'perfect' for us. It is the alignment of energies and circumstances, so when we meet the person or find the object, if feels like fate and destiny. It feels right, 'like home,' and there is no doubt.  We feel cozy in his arms and strong in her aura. The special piece of clothing fits like a glove! That is a very desirable experience and something I enjoy it permeating all areas of my life more and more. In regards to clothing, as well as friendship and partnerships we must first know who we are to be able to intent, manifest and then recognize the perfect match.

Who am I expressed in colors, patterns, and style? Who am I in my different roles relating to people?

Interaction with Clothing Sales People: First Contact

Living in Germany, California and Hawai'i plus traveling in four additional states and sixteen countries have introduced me to very different experiences with sales people. Actually, I feel I was exposed to the whole spectrum from the sales person showing no sign of attention to my presence in the store to immediately addressing me physically, energetically, and verbally.

It is different from culture to culture what is considered respectful. Letting the customer browse without a friendly 'May I help you,' can be interpreted as rude just as asking right away. I used to take the sales person's behavior personal and judge and interpret it. Now, I try to simply observe.  Example: This person is probably having a private conversation on the phone and does not want to be interrupted by a customer. (Here I am assuming and interpreting) This sales person looks so bored. (Here I am judging and assuming.)->

This person is focused on a phone conversation. This sales person is standing in the store. 

Before I enter a store I assess: Do I need or want the help of a sales person. If yes, I go towards them. If not, I scan for the location of my objects of interest and the whereabouts of the sales person. I greet the sales person depending on the distance with a nod or a verbal hello. Then I send out the message psychically and/or verbally: First, I would like to take a look around. I will come to you/look for you, if I have any questions.

Bottom to Top: Slippers and Flip Flaps

Many years of living in Hawaii wearing slippers (that's what we call Flip Flaps in Hawai'i) and sandals have actually flattened my feet and made wearing high heels nearly impossible. In Hawai'i it is custom to leave the shoes, so about  90% of them are slippers, outside the home before you enter. This continues to be an uplifting sight every time there is a party, showing respect and promising togetherness and fun.

Slippers/Flip Flaps are the least amount of shoe you can get. Just a sole and two straps. Very close to earth, very naked.  Shoes are a status symbol and there are very pricey sandals out there. The shoe-stealing scene from the movie Slum Dog Millionaire comes to mind. That doesn't happen at the entrances of private homes here on the islands but there are children living in the 50th state, who don't even own slippers or have only very worn ones. 

Feet need to breathe, need to feel the ground and the earth. Latest research has shown that placing your feet on soil or an earth-stone pad while working on the computer reduces the exposure to electromagnetic pollution.

Bottom to Top: Acquiring New Boots

The first thread, which is creating the complex fabric of this piece of communication is called from Bottom to Top and rethinks and refines the process of dressing each of our precious physical body parts. 

The Hawaiian island of Maui is my home-base and I spend about 8 months out of the year here.

I own two pairs of boots, a silver and a brown one. The silver one looks great but isn't comfortable enough for long stretches of time. The brown one looked great, is very comfortable and worn and needs to be replaced…I thought…

So off to check the Maui-Store Scene for boots, I even went to Ala Moana Shopping Center on Oahu and during a business trip to LA checked out a few stores. I asked around and was referred to www.lucchese.com. Even though I appreciate the art of making these fine leather boots, the cows I reasoned are being killed for their meat anyhow and their skin is a by-product, which should better be used, but then the snakes, the ostriches,  the alligators and finally the elephants got to me. I felt sick. I can't support or buy boots made out of elephant skin!!!!!!  The next attempt were the vegan shoe sites, which didn't have anything appealing either.

Being an experienced  clothing manifestor I realized a bit late but finally that it wasn't the right timing for me to acquire boots.

And I reasoned that I really don't need new boots right now. I wear the brown a  bit shabby looking boots mostly when it rains on Maui, which means then they do get water spots and dirt on them anyhow. 

This whole process led to one of my wardrobe goals: to consume less, to consume only if it feels right on all levels, to purchase only something if it meets all of my wardrobe criteria (material, color, style weren't met on my search).

I actually feel relieved in the sense of I have everything I need right now.

Welcome to Wear Mastery

My expertise is hair. I practice Hair Balancing, a holistic haircutting philosophy and technique, write, research and teach about hair. But eventually, hair lead me to look closer at what we wear. All of a sudden a beautifully balanced head of hair with an open glorious crown chakra would not be enough to satisfy my need for beauty and flow of energy, when the client was wearing a horizontally stripped oversized sweater, which sort of swallowed up the client's aura.

Hair coloring is a huge topic and since I am on a mission to promote natural hair, I had to figure out what to wear to show of our natural hair!!! And that lead me to study numerous wardrobe coaching systems. More on that later…

And then the most important piece why I am so juiced up about wardrobe improvement right now is Dr. John Demartini's fault. After many years of valuing what is in the inside more than what is on the outside, I learned that both are equally important, two sides of the same coin. The material and spiritual aspects of life most be honored simultaneously. In other words, I have finally fun with my clothes and feel more confident and relaxed then ever. 

This blog is documenting my experiences with clothing, personally and professionally, as I am committed to become a wear master. I am learning every day something new and am so excited to share this process with you, with the intention that this will assist you on your own life mastery path.